


Demonic Re-possession

by Marsh_Daisy



Series: "What Time is it in Darwin?" [4]
Category: Gorillaz
Genre: F/M, Humor, Not Canon Compliant, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:27:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28286226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marsh_Daisy/pseuds/Marsh_Daisy
Summary: Long ago a rising rock star and sex god made a deal with the devil.Who would have thought such a sensible life choice would have future repercussions?
Relationships: Noodle/Stuart "2D" Pot
Series: "What Time is it in Darwin?" [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2069307
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	Demonic Re-possession

Murdoc took 2D's and my reconciliation in stride. There was nothing he could do about it, anyway, aside from his usual muttering and sarcasm. We moved ahead with the album. The idea of an instrumental appealed to Russ too. We were in the studio every day.

Murdoc was pleased. "This will be one time the blue haired booby doesn't get to be front and center."

"Did you want me to move my keyboard?" 2D asked, confused. "Only it's already off to the side."

The petting zoo proved a source of lyrical inspiration for 2D. He would dash in and write down ideas before they wandered back out of his head. “I was just looking at Jeffrey, and suddenly I thought about what it must be like to move through life at a waddle, and what it would be like to look up at everything all the time.” And then he would dash back out to see if D'Artagnan could act as an equine muse.

Winter wore on. Mr Pot and 2D did indeed get their hands on two fairly mind-tempered reindeer. We added an industrial sized hot water pot to the pop-corn stand so we could make tea, instant coffee, and cocoa for kids and parents. As during the summer, donations outpaced what any other zoo would have charged for admission. The animals ate well and were snug and cozy.

I spent more time out there than I thought I would. Part of it was wanting to steal extra moments with 2D; smooches when one is bundled in parka and wellies are just as sweet as any other. But it also inspired worthwhile ideas to explore. I read up on the environmental impact of the farming industry in Great Britain, and how it could be modified without detriment to the economic well-being of small farms. I wrote about it on my blog and was asked to do some public service work. 

Christmas was uneventful. After much searching, I found a stuffed baby stoat for Murdoc. His response was amusing, as he was caught between maintaining his grim demeanor and wanting to snuggle it. I'm pretty sure he sleeps with it. 2D and I got each other t-shirts. We spent Christmas Eve with the Pots, and then yawned through Christmas day with our pajamas on. We watched “A Christmas Carol” and cried. Murdoc claims he didn’t - says his tear ducts dried up years ago - but I saw him wipe his eyes on Frederick II once or twice.

The reindeer headed back to the Pole after Boxing Day, and we shortened the hours of the zoo again. The cold grew stronger, and we spent most days either snuggled up on the sofa or working on music. The days were dreary and peaceful, and therefore could not possibly last.

******************

“UP! Get up!”

What in hell? Murdoc banging on my door. “Get up! Now!”

I heard his feet pound down the hallway and he hammered on 2D’s door. “Get up, you sheep-pounder! Get the fuck out of bed or out of Noodle or whatever you’re doing!”

He ran for the stairs.

I grabbed my robe and ran to my door, sniffing for smoke. Nothing. 2D came out of his room in rumpled “Frozen” pajamas, rubbing his eyes.

I grabbed his hand and we rushed downstairs, expecting to see flames, or terrorists, or rabid cows milling about. The front door was closed, so he hadn’t dashed off into the frigid night. 

Oh, good, he was screaming again. He was in the studio.

We hurried in to check out his emergency. He was stark naked, holding the stuffed stoat by the throat and nearly foaming at the mouth.

“There! There!” He pointed his shaking hand at the corner of the studio. 

We looked and saw nothing.

“WHERE THE FUCK IS DIABLO?”

That’s why we saw nothing. We should not have seen nothing. We should have seen his bass resting in its stand.

It was not.

Murdoc gazed at the empty stand for a few more agonizing seconds.

Then he fainted.

******************

He came to as we were covering him with a towel. There’s only so much Murdoc skin one can take in at once.

Unfortunately for us, he whipped it off and stood right back up again, albeit a tad dizzily.

“Which one of you has it? Very funny give it the fuck back or-” He shook Frederick threateningly at us. 

2D looked like he was already considering just what pain Murdoc could manage with a stuffed stoat.

“Murdoc, we wouldn’t.” I said, “I know you’re upset-”

“UPSET! I am in god-damn agony is what! I sold my soul for that bass - my fucking soul!” He began pacing in agitation. I wished again that he didn’t sleep naked.

2D thought we should check for foot-prints outside the doors and under the windows. He’d been watching reruns of Sherlock. There was fresh snow from the evening, but we had been in and out several times. There were no prints that looked like anything but our boots and wellingtons, but it would be hard to be absolutely certain. The locks were undamaged. There was no trace of any activity outside the studio doors or under any window. 

While 2D was outside he went to peek in on all of his animals. He said there was no sign of anyone near any of the barns. Murdoc snarled at him, but he said, “Only they might have left foot-prints out there that we couldn’t see closer to the house. Maybe. But all I saw were mine and the goats."

A locked-door mystery might be enjoyable as a game or a Miss Marple on the drama channel, but the reality of this was quite sobering. There was utterly no evidence of any sort of break-in. In spite of his knee jerk reaction, Murdoc knew damn well neither of us would lay a hand on Diablo - we needed our hands. Murdoc sat on the wingback chair in the living room. I desperately wished I had put the towel down first.

“But did you hear something?” asked 2D. “Only you’re naked so- you must have run straight down from your room?”

“No,” Murdoc replied, his head in his hands, “I just came down for a snack. And I glanced through the studio doors and saw it was gone. Then I ran up and got you twits. Still haven’t got my snack.”

“I’ll make some tea and bring the biscuit tin,” I offered. 2D followed me into the kitchen.

“What do you reckon?” he asked.

“I have no idea.”

He put his hands on the top of one of the chairs and leaned on it heavily, then dropped his head. “He’s going to be miserable. Unbearable. Dangerous.” He looked up at me, his eyes dark. “I- I think I should go live at Mum and Dad’s again for a while. And I think you should come with me.”

I shook my head. “I know this will be difficult. But he needs us here, he really does. He hasn’t killed you yet, he probably won’t over this.” I patted his shoulder.

“That makes me feel much better,” he squeaked.

We took tea and biscuits out to Murdoc, who was now sprawled out in the chair, still tense and furious. And naked. Sprawlingly naked. I threw the towel at him.

“Eh? Oh, right, right.” He laid the towel across his lap. After a second, he tucked Frederick II underneath it as well, its little button eyes just peeping out.

I handed him his tea. He held it for a moment, and the sight of his grim face with steam rising in front of it was slightly terrifying. I glanced over at 2D. He was sitting in the corner of the sofa with his knees drawn up and a pillow in front of him.

Murdoc fixed his gaze on 2D, who grabbed the other pillow and put it over his head, just for good measure. “Oy, beets-for-brains- You still have that stupid 8 ball thingy?”

2D peeked from behind the pillow. “Did you want it, Murdoc?”

Murdoc snorted. “Of course not. It’s stupid. Useless. Only a complete tosser would want that.” Silence for a moment. “But if I wanted it- just for a diversion, mind you - you would of course pop right off and find it for me, right?”

2D dashed up the stairs and we heard him banging about, searching for it. He rushed back down, tripping on the bottom step. He handed it straight to Murdoc, who didn’t hesitate for a second. “Where in the un-holy fuck is Diablo?” he demanded, and then shook the little plastic globe fiercely. 2D retreated to his pillow fort.

I leaned forward to see the response.

The words “ask nicely” surfaced, surrounded by bubbles. Then they floated off, and the word “twat” appeared.

“Listen - I’m stressed here and I will not put up with your cheek! Now where is my bass?” He shook it again and glared at the tiny window.

“Say please,” it read.

Murdoc stood up and screamed, “Fuck this!” and threw the ball at 2D. “You ask the damned thing, you quivering pudding!”

The 8 ball bounced off 2D’s protective pillow, and I caught it before it rolled off the edge of the sofa. I placed it in his trembling hand. He gulped, then whispered, “Do you know where Murdoc’s bass is?”

“Possibly” floated up. 

“Where is it, please?”

It took a while for an answer to show itself, as though the 8 ball were giving the question due consideration.

“I’d rather not say.” The message disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

2D’s face and shoulders fell. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “It won’t tell us.”

“Can’t or won’t?” rumbled Murdoc.

“Only I already said. It won’t.” 2D pulled the 8 ball into his cushioned castle to protect it.

I decided tea was not actually what Murdoc needed. I went into the studio and came back with whiskey and a glass. I poured and handed it to him; it was gone in a second flat and he handed the glass back. I refilled it.

“Murdoc, it’s 1 a.m. We might as well head back to bed. Maybe we’ll have some better ideas in the morning.”

He grunted. I ran upstairs and grabbed a blanket off my bed, and brought it back down to tuck around him. “Get some rest, if you can.” I left the glass and bottle on the side table. Murdoc rummaged under the blanket for a moment, and I held my breath, but his hand held the stuffed stoat when it emerged.

2D turned off the light and we headed back up.

******************

The next morning I heard 2D stumble past my door as he headed out to do chores. I snuggled under my cozy quilt and went back to sleep. Next thing I knew he was shaking me awake.

“Whaaat? What are you doing?”

“I need you outside, right away.”

“It’s warm in here. I don’t wanna be out there.”

“No, really! Please!” I looked more closely at his face. He was panicked and sickly pale.

“Okay-” I dressed as quickly as I could, and we quietly passed by the nearly comatose Murdoc. He had shifted over to the sofa at some point, and was snoring away face down.

2D and I crunched through the snow. He led me to the sheep barn, and inside. But he walked straight over to the goat’s pens. 

“I didn’t think about it, but why would there have been goat prints out here last night? Shoulda been just my boots, right? Goats were already in the shed.”

He pointed at the wooden beam that spanned the posts above the goat pens. Their names, “Rosier” and “Belias” were neatly carved above each goat. But burned into the space between were the words, “INFIDEL" and "BLASPHEMER” and underneath that, “HE WILL NOT BE MOCKED”

“It wasn't my goats leaving hoofy marks all about.”

*******************

Murdoc wasn't happy to be wakened, and less happy to get dressed and then bundled into a parka and hustled out the door. When he reached the goat pen he stared open-mouthed at the burnt beam. “Whaaa- I meant it as a bloody compliment, didn’t I!” 

“It doesn’t seem to be taken as such,” I said. “The way you told me, it was- ‘groveling,’ I think was the term you used.”

“I’d have seen it as a compliment,” 2D observed. “They’re very nice goats.”

Murdoc continued to gaze at the message. “I’m in deep shit.”

“Doesn't get much deeper,” I agreed.

“What in hell did this?"

“Someone with goat feet,” answered 2D.

"So - they popped up here - left their little note - stole my bass - and then they’re away!”

The barn was silent for a moment. Then Snuggles gave a loud bleat and 2D remembered he had come out to feed them. I offered to help.

“What do you think he’s going to do?” 2D whispered as we headed to the pony barn, leaving Murdoc still gazing in discomfort at his unwelcome message. 

“I have no idea. He doesn’t seem very popular down there. Might not be a good idea for him to make a fuss.”

2D replaced the salt lick in Portly’s stall, and then grabbed a brush. The pony closed his eyes in quiet enjoyment while 2D smoothed its thick winter coat. “I feel sort of responsible. It was my idea for him to chat up a demon and see if it could help us out with Russ.”

“It was a good idea, though,” I insisted, giving D’Artagnan a good brushing as well. “He didn’t have to go along with it.” I thought for a moment. “Thing is, that really wasn’t the issue. He never did try to summon anyone. He tried to exorcise Russ.”

“Still asking for help from under the stairs, you know?” observed 2D. “And someone did respond, else Russel wouldn’t have ended up in Mrs Bunty.”

“True. Someone picked up the call. And wasn’t happy to be bothered. Suppose he rang while the demon was in the bath?”

In answer 2D threw a handful of hay at me.

******************

I made vegetable soup for lunch, and we all sat down at the table together. Our odd family: me as devoted matriarch, 2D as my doting husband, and Murdoc as our strange satanic offspring. He sat pushing a carrot around the bottom of his bowl with a piece of bread crust for a while. 

It was very clear the fiery missive was the only thing on his mind. There was no way we could work on music. We didn’t so much as glance in the direction of the studio. 

“It’s no good,” he said at last. “There’s nothing for it except to try to beg it back. And they’re no doubt screening calls. I have no hope of getting through.”

“Maybe you should ring up Kimberly." 2D suggested. "She’s the one put Russ right."

She had also given Murdoc a spirited address on addressing spirits. 

“Ohhh fuck- you’re right. Gleah, I hate hearing those words come out of my mouth. Noodle, you have her number?”

“I don’t, but I can get it from Russ easy enough. What time is it in New York?”

2D checked the time difference on his phone. “8 in the morning.”

“Right. I’ll call Russ. See Murdoc?” I said in a soothing voice, “We’ll get it sorted.

“Yes-s-s-s. Nothing I will enjoy more than working with her again.” He continued to stare glumly at his carrot until I took the bowl away.

******************

I called Russ and filled him in on Diablo’s disappearance. He was horrified. "And he ain't killed one of you yet? He's really growing as a person." He gave me Kimberly's number. Murdoc couldn’t bear to dial her up, so I did and put her on speaker-phone. As soon as Murdoc said, "I seem to be in a spot of trouble-" she agreed to come straight here.

“I'll move some things around. Thinking you might want to put me on retainer, Beelze-baby.”

She told us she would make reservations and text me once she knew when she was arriving. Then she said, “Take me off speaker and let me talk to Resheph there.”

I handed my phone to Murdoc. He opened his mouth and then shut it quickly. For the next few seconds he said nothing but, “Yes. I will. Uh-huh. Right. Yes.” and then ended the call.

“I’m to go to my room, close the door, and keep my stupid mouth shut until she gets here.” He disappeared up the stairs.

I watched him with my jaw hanging open. “I- I’ll make you some sandwiches, I guess.”

2D stared after Murdoc. “I want Kimberly to come live with us.”

******************

2D and I spent the afternoon working on odds and ends at the zoo, then went to his parent's house for dinner. I had a "calm before the storm" flutter going on. The soft, comforting warmth of Mr and Mrs Pot's home cheered me immeasurably. 

We got home late and went straight upstairs. 2D gave me a kiss as he passed my door, and I grabbed his sleeve.

“Did you want a sleep-over?” he asked, teasingly.

“Let me make it very clear what I want,” I said. He stood at mock attention and saluted. “I want you to smash me into next week. If you're not prepared to do that, you just head straight down to your own room. Got it?”

He blinked a couple of times. “I think I can provide the sort of service you are requesting.”

I yanked him in and slammed the door.

******************

We picked Kimberly up at the airport. She caught us up on her family. Bab's eldest daughter Shae was to have a baby in a few months. Her younger daughter, Arionna, and Frankie were both doing well at school. Russ bought another food truck and gave the first one to Kimberly's daughter Maris.

We pulled into the drive and Kimberly read the sign with delight. “Ducky's Petting Zoo! This is yours?” she asked 2D. 

“My dad and Noodle and Lily help out a lot, but it was my idea. I can show you around when we’re done, if you like.”

“Yes, I would love that.” She picked her way through the snow to the house, and we hustled in out of the cold.

Cocoa and tea were proffered and handed round, and we sat together in the living room; Kimberly in the wing-back chair, Murdoc on the armchair, and 2D and me sharing the sofa with Mrs Bunty. Murdoc explained his long-standing deal with the devil, even handing her the notarized copy of his contract. She scanned it, and then went back to reread a couple of the paragraphs.

“This is very basic. No hidden clauses. Quite straightforward for the Lord of Darkness, honestly. But it's been demonically re-possessed, hmm? Any thought on why?” she prompted. 

“Well,” Murdoc mumbled, “as you might remember, we had some issues with Russ a bit back, and-”

“And you chose to meddle with the forces of darkness, yes. I recall quite well.”

2D put in, “To be fair, he was muddling with the forces of light, too. He wasn’t being very specific about who he got through to. Which I thought a bit careless at the time, really.”

Murdoc glared at 2D but addressed Kimberly. “This is different. This isn’t about casting out any low-level demons or whats-its. We’re talking about an intervention. An appeals case. A bit- higher up. While still remaining lower down.”

“A contract does not mean anything more than is promised. The bass was given to you. You lost through your own disrespectful actions. No insurance on it. No contingencies.”

“Well, I demand it back! Call someone up and tell them I need it!”

Kimberly cocked an eyebrow at him. “You do recall I warned you about making demands? 

“And as I recall, you gave me my hiding after the damage was already done. You’re a bloody psychic! Couldn’t you have seen I was going to do something stupid?” Murdoc’s lip curled.

“That’s not the way it works.”

“Anyway,” 2D ventured, “if she were to sense something every time you were about to do something stu-” He wisely closed his mouth.

“Well, I learned my lesson, didn’t I? I called you, right?”

“‘Cause the magic 8-ball came up empty,” added 2D.

“Right- you’re about to come up empty of all your insides if you don’t cram a sock in it!”

“Tell her about the goats,” I said.

Murdoc looked embarrassed. “Well- Thing is-”

“He named my goats after demons and it pissed 'em right off.” 2D explained. “The demons. Not the goats. They don’t seem to mind. But the demons left a note in my barn.”

Kimberly shook her head in wonder. “Unreal. Every time I think we’ve reached the bottom, I find another ladder.” She sighed and leaned back onto the wingback chair.

“But will you take my case?” Murdoc pleaded. “You can manage this, right? I’ll give you anything- anything you like.”

“To descend to the depths and deal with dark forces who are quite rightfully sick of your shit- I can do it. But it’s going to cost you dearly. Which of your band-mate’s souls are you willing to sac-”

That’s as far as she got before Murdoc grabbed 2D and flung him at her. “This one. Take him now. Payment in advance. Off you pop.”

Kimberly caught 2D neatly as he flailed toward her. She gave him a spin and pushed him in my direction. He landed on my lap. “I was joking, Lord of the Flies.”

Murdoc looked disappointed. “Well, what do you want, then? I’m down for favors of a- hmmm- more physical nature, if you get my meaning.”

“Not desiring any evil entities in my body at the moment.” She looked at him speculatively for a moment or two. “I will make my determination on payment after-the-fact.”

Murdoc’s lip twitched a bit. “What bloody choice do I have?”

“Oh, there's always a choice, little snake."

“That was rhetorical, as it seems quite clear you’re going to rake me over the coals for this.”

“Possibly literally.” She stood and turned to 2D. “I'd love to see your zoo now. And that will give me a chance to see the graffiti the pesky devils are leaving around. I’ll head out to my hotel after, if you’d be kind enough to give me a ride. I need to make some preparations.”

“Bet they don’t include laminated star charts,” snickered 2D. He was getting quite bold with Kimberly there. 

We took her on a tour of the zoo. We introduced her to Lily, who gave her some peas for ducks. Kimberly fed them and laughed at their waddly excitement. She eyed the words above the goat pens but said nothing. She scratched D'Artagnan's withers and whispered in his ears. Then we drove her to town, and suggested some places she might enjoy dinner and a drink.

******************

As dinner and drinks sounded an attractive proposition, 2D and I decided to do the same. At an actual restaurant in the city. And actually be public about it. An actual date.

This had been the subject of some difficulty in the past. Was our relationship something we were willing to share with the rest of the world? I would be proud to have my beautiful boy by my side everywhere I went for the rest of my life. Honestly, he was there quite frequently already: stage, photo shoots, interviews - that was expected. We also went out as a group, or in twos or threes, always casual. But a real date - that was different. 2D hadn't been sure this was something he wanted made available for public consumption. There have been rumours; some merely playful innuendo, some dark and hurtful. But it was real now, and he had been right in his concern early on: once it's public, it would not be ours any more. It would be the focus in Reddit AMAs, it would choke my Twitter account. 

But we drove into the city anyway.

And we walked into the restaurant holding hands.

And the world didn't end.

I signed half a dozen autographs, and took selfies with a couple people, and one girl gazed longingly at 2D for an irritating amount of time, but all in all, it felt okay. We decided to hit up the club and see how that went.

Mickey wasn't playing; it was another dj named Oswald, I think. Our regular server came straight over with drinks, and Chloe tried to pull me onto the dance floor right away. I held her off a bit. 2D and I sat staring at each other for a moment. Then he leaned over, put his hand on my cheek, and kissed me. There could be no mistake about that kiss. It was warm, it was soft, it was confident - and it was long. He drew back, his eyes shining. I grabbed his hand to lead him to the dance floor; this time he followed without hesitation.

The world went on spinning.

We got home around 2, far too excited for sleep. We passed my door and stumbled into his room, kissing each other, undressing each other. The world stopped moving completely. There was only us. At last we held each other in the darkness, shaking and panting. He laid his head against my chest, and whispered, "yours." The world would know by morning but I had always known.

******************

Murdoc. Again.

"C'mon, you lot! Get up!" Bang-bang-bang. "I know you're both in there!”

2D poked his head above the quilt. "How?"

"Well, I already looked in her room, didn't I? No one there. C'mon. I'm lonely.”

2D yanked on a pair of pajama pants, and tossed me my underpants and a t-shirt. Then he went over and opened the door.

Murdoc. Wearing a fleece dressing gown and holding Frederick II.

"Are you going to ask if you can sleep in our room, poppet?" I asked.

He looked down at the floor. "No, not enough space. But you could come downstairs and we could all watch tv?" he asked hopefully.

2D fumbled for his phone, sitting on the dresser. "Murdoc it's 6 in the morning! We only just went to sleep a couple of hours ago!"

"Yeah, you went out without me. In my hour of need. Then you- did other stuff. And me still in my hour of need. And now you're sleeping. And me still left needing."

“He's nervous," I said to 2D. "Show some pity "

"Pity he won't let us sleep," grumbled 2D, but he headed out the door. I regretfully left the bed and followed, stopping in my room for proper clothing.

Murdoc had made tea. Murdoc. Had made tea. I blearily shook cereal into a bowl, and we all shoved onto the sofa together, with him in the middle. This family vibe was manifesting itself in the strangest ways. We pulled the blanket over us and watched cartoons and ate our breakfasts. Murdoc's tension loosened a bit. This is what friendship is all about, after all. He didn't even hit 2D once, or tip his bowl so milk spilled onto his lap. 

******************

Kimberly arrived in a cab just past one. It seemed incongruous to do dark summonings on a bright January afternoon, but Kimberly rightly pointed out that it is always 12 a.m. somewhere, and always dark in the Midnight Court. She had enjoyed a nice luncheon in town, and thus was ready to begin.

We pushed the sofa and wingback chair out of the way, and scooted the end-tables over into the kitchen. Kimberly opened a black leather Gucci handbag, from which she withdrew a bell, a candle in a silver holder, a purple lighter, and a small spiral notebook with a puppy and butterfly on the cover. She chalked out a circle on the living room floor, with another smaller circle just inside. Then she carefully sketched out a pentagram. She consulted the notebook, and began writing words in the space between the smaller circle and the larger one. It looked a bit like Latin, but not quite.

2D and I had been silent throughout her preparations, and now she looked up at us as though she had forgotten we were there. “Were you planning to stay? There’s no danger to you - you’re at no fault here.”

I nodded. “For moral support.”

Kimberly snorted. “Support, maybe. Moral I think not. You can bring chairs from the kitchen and set them just there:” she pointed to the corner between the front door and the kitchen doorway. “Remain silent.”

“Absolutely.” 2D dragged the kitchen chairs over to the designated spot, and we perched on the edges.

“Are you ready then, little snake?” Murdoc crawled miserably to the chalk circle and sat opposite Kimberly, eyes downcast. He had elected not to wear his cape today.

Kimberly lit the candle, placed it to her left, and set her lighter aside. She tapped the bell once, and it rang clearly - E flat. It vibrated the windows slightly, and hung in the air for a minute or so before dying down. 

“We humbly petition the Dark Lord to hear an appeal from Murdoc Alphonse Faust Niccals, who has recklessly called upon Thy power, and who has blasphemed against Thy servants. We beg for justice from the Supreme Ruler of the Underworld. Our gift shall be blood.”

“Whose blood?” whispered 2D. I shushed him.

We heard what sounded like a cannon shot from outside the house.

2D jumped from his chair and dashed toward the door. I stood and grabbed his arm. He gave me a desperate look and ripped it from my grasp. “My animals!” He flung the door open.

Two small creatures stood on the top step. One of them had his hand raised to ring the bell, and looked quite taken aback. The other was looking at a file folder, trying to balance it with a laptop, briefcase, and phone. He glanced up and said, “I beg your pardon, is this Kong Studio? It appears to move around a bit, from my records.”

“Whatever studio we’re at is Kong," I answered. "I can guess who you’re looking for.”

“Yes, one Murdoc Noccals?”

“Niccals,” I corrected. “He’s expecting- something. Maybe not you, but something.”

“Thank you, much appreciated,” he said politely, and the little fellow who had made to ring the bell stepped over the threshold and wiped his goat hoofs on the mat.

“I thought they had to be invited in,” 2D leaned down to whisper in my ear. 

“Vampires only,” corrected the second one. “Doesn’t apply to Lesser Imps." He stepped in and assiduously wiped his hoofs as well.

We could now see a smaller individual still standing on the step. He had his finger in his mouth. 

“Come along then, Marmaduke,” said the talkative visitor, and then as an aside to me, “Terribly sorry - last minute - couldn’t find a sitter.”

The wee one on the step looked up at 2D with a shy smile. “Please, human person, may I go look at your ducks?” 2D immediately held out his hand to the tiny imp and walked him out to the duck shed. His hoofs left small goat prints in the crunchy snow. Steam rose from them and drifted off into the bright blue sky.

I returned to the living room in time for introductions. 

"I am Urdek, and this is my associate Zor'annon." He handed Kimberly a tattered business card. "I am a Lesser Imp, administrative grade 7. We have been appointed as public defenders for Mr Naccals. As general policy, he can of course hire his own lawyer. But fact is: he is rather unpopular in the Realm at the moment. His number has been blocked-"

"Fucking knew it," Murdoc muttered.

"- but his situation has been monitored. Zor'annon and I agreed to take his case. I have a bit of experience in this sort of thing. And of course Zor'annon needs to fulfil his public service hours before he can take his exams."

Kimberly put the business card in her wallet.

Urdek sat down cross-legged at the edge of the circle. "This is just perfect, by the way." He looked admiringly at Kimberly. "But I'd expect nothing less from Kimberly Sybelle Gaetane Aretha Wilson." He looked about himself a bit, and then turned and asked me, "Might I trouble you for an outlet?" 

I ran to hook up an extension from the studio. "Thank you very much." 

He opened the laptop, tapped his fingers while he waited for it to load. "Updates. Just a little minute."

Kimberly looked completely comfortable with the Imps, but Murdoc was clearly not accustomed to dealing with underworld bureaucracy.

Urdek fumbled for a pair of glasses on his briefcase, and placed them on his nose. "Ahem. You are Murdoc Nuccals, middle name varies?"

Murdoc nodded, then softly corrected, "Niccals."

"Ah! Oopsie." Then he looked at Kimberly. "And you, of course, are Kimberly Sybelle Gaetane Aretha Wilson." Kimberly smiled. "It’s a real honor to meet you. I have been instructed to make a job offer when these proceedings are concluded."

"Now!" He said brightly, "I'll turn this over to Zor'annon to read the charges."

Zor'annon read tonelessly from the screen: "You are charged with reckless summoning of demonic and/or celestial entities, and attempted reckless summoning of demonic and/or celestial entities-"

Urdek looked pained. "In the future, Mr Miccals, please do be a bit more specific."

Zor'annon continued. "You are also charged with first degree Blasphemy for use of the Profane and Unholy names of the demons Rozier and Belias by giving them to farm animals."

"Well, they're GOATS, aren't they?" said Murdoc in exasperation. "I mean, look at your own feet!"

Urdek looked over his glasses. "Mr Sniccals, you are not helping your case. Proceed, Zor'annon."

Zor'annon cleared his throat. "That was the end of it, sir."

"Right then." Urdek shuffled some papers and tapped them on the floor in front of him. "The offended parties are prepared to offer-"

At this point the front door opened, and 2D shuffled in, still holding Marmaduke's hand. He looked around sheepishly upon realizing he had interrupted. "Sorry. Just getting some cocoa." The little imp was smiling and holding a duck feather. He was clearly smitten with his new friend. They tip-toed into the kitchen together.

Urdek watched them over his glasses until they were out of sight. "Right. As I was saying, they are prepared to offer you a plea deal. They will knock the charges down to attempted summoning and third degree Blasphemy, and replace El Diablo, the satanic bass, with Maggot - a lightly cursed ukulele."

Murdoc's eyes grew so wide I thought his eyeballs would fall out of his head. "I will accept NOTHING less than my bass being returned in the same condition in which it was when it was stolen."

"You, Mr Ticcals, are in no position to argue. You are guilty of the charges, are you not?"

"Thought I was innocent until proven guilty?"

Urdek chuckled, and started laughing. He laughed until tears ran down his cheeks. He took off his glasses and held his stomach. Then he rolled over onto his side and convulsed in laughter.

He sat up and wiped his eyes. "No."

Murdoc shook his head. "No deal."

Kimberly sighed. "My little lizard king, this is the best you will get."

"I can't be a bleeding sex god rock star with a bleeding ukulele!"

Urdek spoke up. "Point of fact: you have achieved such position already. Further point of fact-" Urdek took his glasses off and looked rather embarrassed. "You are- as they say- getting up there in years, and-"

Murdoc stood. "That's it. Done! I'm done."

Kimberly rose. "You will respect your guests. You will do as you are told. You will sit down, close your mouth, and accept the terms you have been given."

Murdoc sat immediately.

Kimberly turned to Urdek and Zor'annon. "I beg your pardon. The petitioner will accept the terms."

Murdoc's face contorted in rage, but he did not open his mouth.

2D's head poked around the kitchen door. "Only I was wondering could you keep it down a bit? You've quite frightened Marmaduke."

Urdek looked apologetic. "Of course, of course. Thank you for watching him, un-named human."

"It's 2D, actually."

"It's irrelevant, actually."

2D ducked back into the kitchen.

"Well," Urdek said, returning his attention to Kimberly, "sounds like a deal." He replaced his glasses into his briefcase and snapped the laptop shut. "The ukulele will be delivered in two days, rush shipping."

He and Zor'annon stood and shook hands with Murdoc and Kimberly. "It's been a true pleasure, Kimberly Sybelle Gaetane Aretha Wilson. I couldn't believe it when they said it was you." He turned. "Marmaduke?" 

Marmaduke popped his head round the corner. "Only I was wondering if I could have a sleepover with this fellow? I want to ride the pony."

Urdek nodded. "I'll pick you up tomorrow."

He turned back to Kimberly. "There is the matter of payment. We were in fact promised blood?" Kimberly picked up her Gucci bag and withdrew a tupperware full of crimson liquid. Urdek sniffed it. “This came from the butcher shop on Main Street. Are you serious?”

Kimberly smiled. “You should have been more specific."

******************

Kimberly stayed for dinner. Little Marmaduke proved a very polite and well-mannered imp. He wasn't wild about eating his vegetables, but he did. He was very happy with the Chelsea bun, though, and ate two. He wanted more but I was worried about him getting over-excited.

He and 2D decided they would sleep in the living room. They brought down blankets and used the kitchen chairs to assemble a tent, made some popcorn, and watched "The Aristocats." 

I drove Kimberly back to her hotel, and she said she would take a cab to Heathrow in the morning.

"I don't know how to thank you," I said, giving her a long hug. "Twice you've come to the rescue for us."

"To be fair, the first time was my fault." She grinned. "But I'll take the credit anyway."

She started up the sidewalk, and then turned back. "Be careful with that boy." I froze. "You fractured him. You're the one to hold him back together."

I nodded. She blew me a kiss and went into the hotel.

******************

When I got back to the house, Marmaduke and 2D were playing chutes and ladders. This seemed oddly appropriate for a little demon. It was nearly eight, and 2D asked if Marmaduke would like to help him feed the animals.

Murdoc sat morosely in the studio, and I ventured in. He looked up and back down again.

"I lost. I can't believe I fucking lost."

"It could have been worse," I said, sitting down on the piano bench.

"They might as well have ripped my heart out. I'm nothing now."

"That's nonsense and you know it. You're Murdoc Niccals. You may have needed it to rise but you're a legend now. You could play that uke and still be a legend."

He sighed, and knocked the guitar stand over with his foot. "Sod this," he said, and went upstairs.

Marmaduke and 2D came back in, stomping snow off boots and hoofs. I made cocoa and played a round of chutes and ladders with them.

When Marmaduke started yawning, we settled him down with a blanket and pillow from the couch. We watched more tv with the sound down low, and kissed for a while. Then he spread out his blanket next to Marmaduke for their sleep-over. I went up to bed, but I stopped partway up and sat on the stairs, watching them. He gave Marmaduke a little kiss on the forehead, then snuggled down with a smile on his face.

******************

They woke nice and early. 2D made oatmeal, then they went out to feed the animals. 2D led Marmaduke around the pasture on Portly for over an hour. Then they made a snowduck.

Urdek came to pick up his little imp after lunch, with a promise to allow another play-date soon. They disappeared with a boom, and then everything seemed very quiet.

I walked over to 2D, who was standing looking dejected. I gave him a long hug. "You're incredible."

He leaned his forehead against mine and whispered, "I'm just me. But I'm yours."

******************

I made some tea and headed into the studio, then checked my phone for messages. And I saw. The twit had hit the fan.

It wasn't huge, but I was tagged in the selfies one of the girls had taken with me, and she referred to 2D as my "date." Quite a few retweets. Someone else had a shot of our kiss at the club, with both of us and the band tagged. We were four good scrolls down Yahoo's entertainment page. I showed 2D.

"Well, we're out, I guess," he said when I showed him. I tried to read his tone. What was going on in his head?

He tapped on my camera and put it in selfie mode. "Make it official?"

I grabbed the phone. "Right, look sexy."

He giggled.

"At the count of three," I said, "think about the last time I was in your room."

Worked. Sleepy, bedroom eyes, biting his lip. 

I tagged it and wrote, "Mine." And off it went into the Twitter-verse.

He grabbed the phone from me and set it down next to his keyboard. "I lied."

"About what?"

"I wasn't thinking about last time. I was thinking about this time."

In a matter of minutes "this time" was well under way in the studio.

Stools are adjustable. Which is a great advantage for someone built like him. I perched on the edge with my legs around his waist. He was getting close; his eyes were closed and he was hitting me harder and faster. 

The stool was also of great advantage to see over 2D's shoulder as Murdoc came down the stairs.

"Murdoc." I tapped 2D's shoulder. "Murdoc!"

"Did you just say his name?" 2D pulled back in shock. "You did not just say his name!"

"Just came down the stairs."

He looked over his shoulder. "Oh- okay."

Murdoc reached the bottom of the stairs and stood scratching his stomach for a moment. Then he glanced over at the studio. He took a few steps toward the kitchen. Then he yelled, "I'm goddamn well burning that!"

"Bit of a mood-ruiner," I whispered.

"Nope. Just- " He grabbed my backside and lifted me, still inside me, and walked over to the sofa while I squealed and giggled like a twit. "Hold on tight," he instructed, and somehow managed to maneuver me to the floor behind the sofa without dropping me. Choking on our laughter, we heard Murdoc pass by again, and his tread on the stairs.

"See? No problem." We worked our way back up and he whispered, "I'm almost there," and then are you kidding me here was Murdoc again.

"Are you kids finished?" he yelled from just outside the doorway.

"No, and we won't if you keep interrupting!" I yelled.

"C'mon, wrap it up. I'd have been done ages ago." He burped.

I believed that.

"Shut up so we can, you ass!"

"I dunno if I can now," 2D whispered.

"Oh, I think you will." I pushed his shoulder to make him roll onto his back, and took over. I had him breathless in a couple minutes, and I covered his mouth with my hand as he finished.

"You promised me I'd never have to hear him!" Murdoc shouted from the doorway.

"You wouldn't have if you'd stayed in your room, you knob!" yelled 2D. He closed his eyes, and then smiled slowly. "That was amaz-"

"Save yer pillow talk for when you've got a goddamn pillow! I need you!"

I hunted around for my yoga pants and tunic while 2D crawled off in search of his trousers.

******************

We went to wash up and then joined the glowering Murdoc in the living room.

"Glad someone's having a good time around here," he grunted.

"So are we," I responded. "Now what's so important?"

"Kimberly," he grumbled. 

He pulled a letter out of the pocket of his robe and threw it on the table.

She must have mailed it from the hotel. I opened it and withdrew a sheet of paper. It was an invoice.

"Services rendered:

  * Contact with the Lower Realms


  * Negotiation with representatives of the Lower Realms


  * Travel from United States to offer services


  * Hotel and dining expenses while working with client


  * Mental, emotional, and psychic aggravation from working with client"



"As agreed, payment for services rendered and expenses associated were to be determined after the fact. It is the determination of the provider that payment shall consist of fulfilling the obligation associated with the reservations enclosed with this letter."

I reached in and pulled out a second piece of paper.

A reservation in Murdoc's name. For a silent retreat at a monastery in Ireland. For two months.

In perfect handwriting at the bottom: "Have fun, my darling demogorgon. I'll pick you up when they turn you loose. You'll love springtime in New York. Kimberly"

He could barely speak. Off to a good start.


End file.
